power of the subconscious mind

this past monday, i underwent my first ever session of hypnotherapy. over the years of “regular” talk-based therapy, generative somatic therapy, and the like, i keep coming up against figurative brick walls, where no more insight or progress can be made. my current { and totally awesome therapist } likes to describe herself as “a little bit WOO”, as in she is also a trained hypnotherapist, reiki practitioner, and knowledgeable in all sorts of alternative practices { chakras, chinese medicine, etc.}. i finally decided to take the plunge and give hypnotherapy a try, since i fear a deeply rooted self-sabotage is WHY i keep hitting those walls.

i didn’t know what to expect, so i was nervous/anxious/excited all at once. going into a trance state, where the subconscious mind can be accessed, felt a lot like being submerged under water: my ears felt plugged up, i felt heavy & hazy, i was aware of myself but not completely able to control basic movements–nodding my head or signaling that i was rooting something into place took EXTREME effort. the one thing that i take away from this first experience, which was really about setting parameters for future session work, is that i am deeply influenced by madeleine l’engle’s A WRINKLE IN TIME.

in my trance state i was asked to establish a “safe place”, mine took on the many qualities of the stargazing rock- which has major significance in all 5 books of l’engle’s TIME QUINTET.  the books describes it thusly: The large, flattish glacial rock left over from the time when oceans of ice had pushed across the land, and which the family called the star-watching rock because it gave them a complete and unobstructed view of the sky, was indeed a good place to listen. When they lay on it to watch the stars they looked straight across the valleys to the hills. Behind the rock was a small woods….But mostly it was quiet enough so that all they heard was the natural music of the seasons. { pg 36, A Swiftly Tilting Planet }.  my mind’s rock was exactly how i’ve always pictured l’engle’s: surrounded by trees, the wind blowing warm & sweet; I could feel the sun warming my body, and yet when i looked up to the sky, it was nighttime with glistening stars, swirling galaxies- which actually is possible in the writings of l’engle, which deal with both chronological time { kronos }, and time-outside-time { kairos }, also described as a moment of indeterminate time in which everything happens {thanks wikipedia!}.

next, my therapist had me picture a guide { her terminology was much better than that, something about how it represents my wise self… }, and again, i found influence of l’engle.  my guide was my grandmother, but only as i’ve seen her in pictures- appearing to be about mid-thirties. however, unlike my grandmother, she wore thick-rimmed, over-sized glasses, similar to the character of mrs. who in A Wrinkle in Time, she shimmered in and out of existence, just like mrs. which { also Wrinkle }. the glasses are of extra importance, because later in my session, i was asked if my grandmother/guide had any gifts for me to aid in my quest- and i knew the glasses were her gift for me to see through things, to see the truth. mrs. who’s glasses share a similar quality in that they allow the young protagonist, meg, to free her father from the his imprisonment because the glasses can SEE matter as it TRULY is, tiny atoms that rearrange themselves.

these were the most evident examples to me, but many other small things that popped up while i was in my trance-state resonated of l’engle’s books, which i have read and reread since i was about 10. i’m grateful that they have shaped my subconscious mind, and i look forward to discovering more layers on the journey.

Posted on 14 April, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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