hide my head i want to drown my sorrow { no tomorrow, no tomorrow }
i am not strong enough.
my entire body aches & throbs as if it’s been crushed by a steamroller. moving hurts. breathing hurts.
i can barely stay awake, because sleep is all my body & weary, weary soul can handle right now.
and yet i feel guilty. guilty for my pain. guilty for my inability to cope. guilty that i am not strong enough to make it though the day…because i, i am one of the “lucky ones”. i read as cis-gendered and white. i live in the { relative } safety of a liberal city in a liberal state. i am employed. i have benefits.
still, i fear for my life. i fear for my friend’s lives. i fear for the future we are creating. i fear for my nephew, for my friends’ children…i fear for all women. i fear for all people of color. i fear for people who love the same gender as they are. i fear for all marriages. i fear for trans*folk. i fear for all people of “non-christian” faith. i fear for immigrants. i fear for all of us with mental health issues. i fear for all “disabled” folk. i fear for all of us who LOVE FIERCELY. i fear. i fear. i fear.
I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH
Posted on 9 November, 2016, in serious stuff and tagged agony, americannightmare, anxiety, challenges, depression, fear, guilt, help, pain, tired, women. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
Right along with you; my anxiety has been difficult to take especially recently. We will get through this though