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#27, 20, & 23: one day-many yeses!

last week, i made a list, challenging myself to turn and face the strange.

yesterday was something of a “powerhouse” day, where i managed to accomplish 3 off my list. {for the record, just because it’s been achieved doesn’t mean it’s a one-and-done situation. this is suppose to help me grow, after all } i hung out with an old friend {#27}, shared my happy place with someone new {#20}, and practiced a random act of selflessness {#23}.

my friend K, whom i have known since living in the bay area over 5 years ago, and her significant other, A, just moved to our fair city from boston.  the spousal unit and i have hung out with the 2 of them a few times since they’ve moved…but yesterday, K and i had lunch/coffee, i gave her a walking tour of my favourite neighbourhood, AND then took her to my sanctuary/happy place. the random act of selflessness happened during the lunch hour–you will have to trust me that i did something because sharing details feels icky,boastful, and self-serving.

here is a picture of my happy place: it’s at a local park/beach about 1.5 miles from my home. i usually drive there because of steep hills, but i have walked there on days off. the beauty of water, mountains, and forest stuns and calms me.

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nuggets of wisdom: “the noonday demon”

this is part one of a new “series” of posts– quotes or passages from books i am reading that i don’t want to forget.

i’m currently reading The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression { by Andrew Solomon }. it is part memoir, part scientific research, part sociological & culturally-anthropological analogy. only 42 pages in and i’m gaining so much insight on myself, and on how humanity deals { or doesn’t deal } with depression.

anyways, here is the passage i wish to share, from page 17:

It is not pleasant to experience decay, to find yourself exposed to the ravages of an almost daily rain, and to know that you are turning into something feeble, that more and more of you will blow off with the first strong wind, making you less and less. Some people accumulate more emotional rust than others. Depression starts out insipid, fogs the days into a dull color, weakens ordinary actions until their clear shapes are obscured by the effort they require, leaves you tired and bored and self-obsessed– but you can get through all that. Not happily, perhaps, but you can get through.

be { ye } not afraid

i had a very over excited { read: emotional } night last night. like many people, i’m faced with crippling anxiety, serious self-doubt, and a general lack of direction in life. one too many worries must have been floating around in my head, because i snapped. all the emotional vomit came pouring out of my mouth, while tears poured down my face. in the midst of all this, my knight in nerdy armour { aka. spousal-unit, aka. husband } held me; comforted me. and he asked me a very serious question: if fear wasn’t an issue { that is, if it COULD NOT stand in your way }, what would you want to be doing?

i wish i could say i had a moment of clarity.

today at work, my co-worker R and i were catching up. in his “real” occupation, he’s a minister, and his calling is stories.  on one of his recent hikes, he was wrestling with the pull he feels to write. in a quiet moment, he felt a presence/heard g_d’s voice: “do not be afraid of greatness”.  and then R told me that i need that message too. perhaps i do.

 

{ below image is courtesy of r. wilson} IMG_2606